Coming from a long line of perfectionists I’m more than happy to break the cycle. The hard part is not worrying about what other perfectionists think, and I know first hand they’re ready to jump in and criticize (we do it to ourselves constantly). Perfectionism stems from the fear that our imperfections or failures are somehow a reflection of our total worthiness as individuals. Shame tries to cover that up and motivates us to reach unattainable goals/standards/etc, in the hopes that it will somehow make us feel worthy, or happy even. Instead, we constantly miss the mark (because no one is perfect) and our sense of worthiness takes a beating. Shame jumps in and says, “you just need to try harder”.
Next time you meet a self proclaimed perfectionist, take a closer look and see if you can identify the times they seemed happiest. Probably when everything was…perfect, right?
But how often is life perfect? 🤔